How Can Mediation Help You?

Zonder Ruzie Mediation & Divorce

Willeke de Boer is an experienced  & knowledgeable mediator

serving Houten and the Utrecht region

Mediations in English is an available option.

Schedule a free introductory meeting

Mediation

Mediation involves resolving disputes with the assistance of a neutral, skilled mediator. The mediator doesn't make decisions for the parties but helps them find solutions within legal frameworks, contributing to sustainable outcomes. Read more

Financial expertise

Mediator Willeke de Boer possesses expertise in the financial, fiscal, and legal aspects of divorce. It's crucial to establish clear agreements regarding matters like property, assets, and pensions. Willeke outlines the available options, enabling you to make well-informed decisions. Read more

Customised solutions

For customised services such as (re)calculating alimony evaluating and modifying agreements, or mediating conflicts, you can turn to Zonder Ruzie Mediation Practice. Read more

Check the costs of mediation

Willeke de Boer,
Registered Mediator and Certified Divorce Advisor

Since 2016, I’ve been assisting couples in amicably navigating their divorces. I am registered with the quality register of the Mediators’ Federation of the Netherlands (MfN), which means that I adhere to the guidelines of the register and am required to maintain and continuously develop my skills.

As a Registered Certified Divorce Advisor (Register Erkend Scheidingsadviseur, RES), I’m well-versed in financial, fiscal, and legal matters, ensuring clarity and peace of mind regarding the implications of your divorce.

I’m affiliated with De Scheidingsdeskundige and the Circle of Divorce Specialists, (Kring van Scheidingssprecialisten) providing access to a network of divorce specialists, tax advisors, and legal experts for collaboration and consultation.

My practice serves clients in Houten and the broader Utrecht region, with online mediation options also available.

Willeke de Boer
Please contact me

Divorce mediation

Mediation is the joint resolution of a dispute with the help of a skilled conflict mediator: the mediator. The mediator helps identify the interests of both parties and remains neutral and impartial. In mediation, the parties themselves determine the solution, which often leads to more sustainable outcomes. Moreover, mediation is voluntary. This means that either party may end the mediation at any time.

In the case of a divorce, the mediator provides information about the applicable legal framework. This enables the parties to reach well-informed agreements.

Working method

1. Non-binding introductory meeting

In an initial meeting, I explain the mediation process. I will also outline what you can and cannot expect from me as a mediator, and we will discuss the mediation agreement. Additionally, I will inform you about the applicable rates. Based on this conversation, you can decide whether mediation is suitable for you and whether you would like to engage me as your mediator.

2. The mediation sessions

After signing the mediation agreement, both of you will have the opportunity to share your perspectives. During the sessions, we will identify each party’s interests and wishes in order to reach a mutual solution. In the case of a divorce, the main topics discussed include housing, children, alimony, division of assets, and pensions. Mediation sessions typically last between 1.5 to 2 hours. All sessions are generally held with both parties present. Sometimes, one or more individual sessions may be necessary to ensure or improve the progress of the mediation. The need for an individual session is always first discussed in a joint session. The main points of any individual conversation will be summarized in the following joint mediation session.

Special Attention to Loss
A divorce is a grieving process; it brings about loss that often leads to conflict—loss of trust, security, or love. In a divorce, this loss can go even further when people lose their home or (partially) their children. That is why, during our mediation sessions, it is important to acknowledge this loss and give space to the emotional processing that comes with it. Only then can new connections be made, agreements about the future be reached, and only then can (ex-)partners truly co-parent their children together.

Divorcing with (Minor) Children
Using a detailed questionnaire, I work with you as parents to determine what you consider important to agree upon regarding matters such as custody arrangements, finances, contact with any new partners, and how you communicate with each other. For the division of child-related costs, I use a professional child support calculation program to make accurate financial estimates. This allows you to arrive at well-considered agreements, which will ultimately be recorded in a parenting plan.

3. Documenting the agreements

Once you have reached an agreement on all topics, the arrangements can be documented. I will prepare a divorce agreement and, if there are minor children involved, a parenting plan as well.

4. Formalisation in court

If you are married, the divorce must be formally requested through the court. This also applies if you have a registered partnership and minor children. Filing for divorce must be done through a lawyer. I work in collaboration with an experienced law firm and will guide you through this process.

Financial Expertise

During a divorce, many financial matters need to be settled. What should you consider?

  • Your new living arrangements. Will one of you stay in the current home, or will it be sold? What are the tax and financial implications of your decision?
  • If you have children, how will you divide the costs related to their upbringing?
  • How will you divide your assets?
  • Who will get the car? What about the insurance and the accumulated no-claims bonus?
  • How will you divide pensions and other income provisions?

With my broad expertise in legal, financial, and tax matters, I am able to guide couples through their divorce both emotionally and in terms of financial substance. I help them make well-considered decisions that take both parties’ interests into account. This applies to emotionally charged divorces as well as more complex situations, such as divorces involving business owners.

Relationship Mediation: Moving Forward Together or Parting Ways?

Relationship Mediation: Moving Forward Together or Parting Ways?
Are you unsure whether you want to continue your relationship or whether it might be better to go your separate ways? Relationship mediation supports couples who feel stuck and are looking for clarity, calm, and direction. Instead of immediately choosing separation, mediation offers a structured way to explore your options together and have an open conversation guided by a neutral third party.

What Is Relationship Mediation?
Relationship mediation is a process in which you explore what is happening within your relationship under my guidance. Both partners get the space to express their feelings, expectations, and concerns. The goal is not to determine who is right or wrong, but to understand what each of you needs — and from there make a well-considered choice: move forward together or separate respectfully. In three joint sessions, either at my office or online, we look at what is going well and where things are going wrong. Creating space to talk without interruptions helps uncover patterns in your relationship. During the conversations, we explore what would be needed to continue together, but also what it would look like if you were to separate. If you ultimately decide to part ways, I can guide you through drafting a divorce agreement and, if applicable, a parenting plan.

Not Couples Therapy
Relationship mediation and couples therapy share a common goal — supporting couples — but they differ in approach. Whereas therapy focuses on emotions, deeper patterns, and restoring the emotional connection, relationship mediation focuses on practical and structured conversations about the issues at hand. The emphasis is on clarity, improved communication, and workable solutions for the future. As a divorce mediator, I guide couples without therapeutic treatment methods. I help create the clarity and calm needed to understand what is truly going on. This makes relationship mediation suitable for couples who want support without the intensity or depth of therapy.

When Is Relationship Mediation Helpful?
– you are unsure whether your relationship has a future;
– there are frequent misunderstandings or tension;
– you want to talk without arguments;
– the connection feels distant, but you are willing to explore how things could improve;
– you want to treat each other respectfully, whatever the eventual decision may be.

What Does It Bring You?
Relationship mediation provides clarity about what you truly want and brings a sense of calm to both heart and mind. By gaining better insight into each other’s thoughts and feelings, communication improves — whether you ultimately stay together or not. Often, renewed respect for one another emerges, because you learn to see each other in a more understanding and open way.

Customised Solutions

In addition to mediation during divorce, Zonder Ruzie offers customised solutions. For example, you might consider:

  • Calculation of child and/or spousal support
  • Recalculation of child and/or spousal support
  • Mediation in a conflict with the ex-partner
  • Drafting a parenting plan
  • Providing individual support to one partner during a divorce
  • Mediation in family-related conflicts

Tip: Check your legal expenses insurance

Sometimes, legal expenses insurance covers the costs of mediation during a divorce. It's definitely worth checking.

Costs of the mediation

An introductory meeting of 30 minutes is free of charge.

An hourly rate is charged for the mediation sessions and other services, such as the calculation of child and/or spousal support and the drafting of the divorce agreement and parenting plan.

It is difficult to determine the total cost of the mediation process in advance, as this largely depends on the number of sessions required to reach a satisfactory outcome. After the intake meeting, I can provide an estimate of the number of sessions needed and a forecast of the total costs. For many services, I offer fixed rates. If you prefer, we can also agree on a fixed price for the entire mediation process based on the intake meeting. If additional sessions are needed beyond what was initially agreed, these will be charged at the hourly rate.

During the intake meeting, I will also explain other potential costs, such as those for the lawyer and court. I do not work on the basis of government-funded legal aid (known as “toevoeging” in Dutch). You can check whether you qualify for legal aid via:
https://www.rechtsbijstand.nl/mediation-rechtsbijstand/hoeveel-betalen/eigen-bijdrage/
If you would like to use subsidised legal aid, I can refer you to another mediator.

Contact

     

    Affiliated with:

    KVSS (1)

    telefoon

    06 - 17137758

    e-mail

    info@zonderruzie.nl

    bezoekadres

    Papiermolen 30 Houten

    openingstijden

    Ma t/m vr, 9.00u – 17.00u